I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
