i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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