I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm really busy with my period
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