whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
