Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
