my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
