I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
