look no pants
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
When are your genitals available?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
