billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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