i barfeds in our rink
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
