I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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