When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
