just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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