dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it's not cheating when I paid for it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
