You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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