Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
