He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
