Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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