when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
