so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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