Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
