Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize