I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well I just put wine in my tea
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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