he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
