so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
