The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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