Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
