9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
