i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
