I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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