A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
