you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I came so hard my ears popped.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
