He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
