Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
