Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
