It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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