I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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