Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
