Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
