garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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