Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
