My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
