So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
