Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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