Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
