They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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