69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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