how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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