Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
