While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
