did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
