btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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