Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
