Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
