Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
