Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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