Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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