i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
