imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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