Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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