You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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