it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
