Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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