Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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