I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
