Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize